Laws for Hunting Attorneys

I have sources that are telling me that Leg Council is currently drafting an important bill for the Special Session. My sources have not seen the entire document but were able to get a segment. I have provided that segment for your review. Hope this is useful for any of your clients or your respective bosses.

Regulations For Hunting Attorneys" SEC. 370.00

370.01 Any person with a valid in state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
Yellow bellied sidewinders, 2
Two faced tortfeasors, 1;
Back stabbing divorce litigators, 3
Horn rimmed cut throats, 2
Minutiae advocating dirtbags, 4
Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

370.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the kill site.